Holding You...almost

Today we had a wonderful visit to the NICU. We came during your care time and got to help out in all kinds of ways. First I took your temperature, then we changed your diaper. We got to hold you over on your side while the nurse changed the dressing on your chest tube. I feel so bad for you every time they pull off the tape. That has to hurt. You made crying faces and all I wanted to do is hold and comfort you. But a little cuddle of my hands on your head and bottom and you calmed right down. Then we got to weigh you which was the best part. While the scale in your bed cancels out you have to be held up in the air about 4-5 inches. I got to hold your tiny little body in both my hands. If only for a brief few seconds, they are seconds I chersih. Once your chest tube comes out we got to hold you for real. A day I can not wait for. You weighed 6 lbs, 14 ozs. so a little gain but is could be because they started feeding you. Your belly measured another cm smaller, so you're still loosing fluid.

You continue to have poops (only in a hospital are poops and pees exciting) and they started feeding you today. You seem to be digesting my milk ok so far, so they fed you another 9cc's of milk while we were there. You spit up a little but what baby doesn't right? Now if I can only keep up. I'm having a hard time sustaining my milk supply on pumping alone. Your ears are looking much more normal today and some more swelling has gone down in your head. Your little boy parts are starting to de-puff a little too. Dr's are waiting to see if the fluid from your chest turns milky after the feeding. This is an indication that Chylothorax is the correct diagnosis.

Every time I see you and all your wires and tubes, I can't help but wonder if you are in pain. I pray that you are not and I am so proud of you for fighting through this every day. Happy one week Birthday!