We got a chance to talk to Dr. Kinney today (one of the neonatologists and also a member of our church). We were glad to talk to a Dr. finally since we had a lot of questions. They still haven't seen the fluid from your chest tube turn milky yet. The diagnosis is still Chylothorax, but it may be that we never find out what the actual cause is. The best thing he had to say about prognosis was that you were considered a moderate to severe case when you were born, but he could now say that you could be downgraded to mild. Awesome! The nure also told us about a baby that had severe Hydrops and who recovered to live a normal life. I think you've turned the corner. You keep getting stronger every day and I'm just amazed by you. How can something so small be so strong?

We got to take part in your care this afternoon. I took your temperature and changed your diaper, but you had a suprise for me today! Icky, sticky poopies and you just had to tinkle when that diaper came off! But it was a good diaper output wise. Since the chest tube may be in a while longer, the Dr.'s are going to converse tomorrow about letting us hold you. It'm kind of scared because I don't want to hurt you but oh I can not wait!!! We comforted you again today while the nurse changed the dressing on your chest tube. I'm sorry, that must hurt so much. We are here for you though. Still getting fed 9 cc's every three hours. Digestion has slowed down a little but they said that's typical for the first few days of feeding. You've been a little drooly lately but apparently that's normal for premies who don't get much practice with the sucking and swallowing of regular feeding. The nurse also said you're taking a lot more breaths on your own, over the ventilator, so you're getting strong. You're now at 33 weeks gestation, so we're getting closer and closer.

Holding You...almost

Today we had a wonderful visit to the NICU. We came during your care time and got to help out in all kinds of ways. First I took your temperature, then we changed your diaper. We got to hold you over on your side while the nurse changed the dressing on your chest tube. I feel so bad for you every time they pull off the tape. That has to hurt. You made crying faces and all I wanted to do is hold and comfort you. But a little cuddle of my hands on your head and bottom and you calmed right down. Then we got to weigh you which was the best part. While the scale in your bed cancels out you have to be held up in the air about 4-5 inches. I got to hold your tiny little body in both my hands. If only for a brief few seconds, they are seconds I chersih. Once your chest tube comes out we got to hold you for real. A day I can not wait for. You weighed 6 lbs, 14 ozs. so a little gain but is could be because they started feeding you. Your belly measured another cm smaller, so you're still loosing fluid.

You continue to have poops (only in a hospital are poops and pees exciting) and they started feeding you today. You seem to be digesting my milk ok so far, so they fed you another 9cc's of milk while we were there. You spit up a little but what baby doesn't right? Now if I can only keep up. I'm having a hard time sustaining my milk supply on pumping alone. Your ears are looking much more normal today and some more swelling has gone down in your head. Your little boy parts are starting to de-puff a little too. Dr's are waiting to see if the fluid from your chest turns milky after the feeding. This is an indication that Chylothorax is the correct diagnosis.

Every time I see you and all your wires and tubes, I can't help but wonder if you are in pain. I pray that you are not and I am so proud of you for fighting through this every day. Happy one week Birthday!

Poopies!

You continue to look more handsome every day. A lot of the swelling has gone down in your head. You ears are even starting to look better. You spent most of our visit today sleeping, but it looks like you were having a good dream. You were waving your arms and legs around. They turned down the pressure in your ventilator, your lungs are getting stronger. Now if you can just start peeing as much as your mommy is now...your swelling will melt away, just like mine is :) Looking forward to seeing more of your handsome face. We love you Ben!

Today you weighed 6 lbs. 14 ozs. You had your firs poopy today of meconium so it's good to know that the pipes are working. You have an echo cardiogram tomorrow to make sure the PDA valve is closed. No weight gain from last night, but your chest is measuring smaller. Bye, bye fluid!

Handsome Man

More swelling has gone down. You now have a forehead! You are looking better and better every day now. You are starting to get feisty too. Today you thought your breathing tube was a toy and kept trying to pull it out. Mommy changed your diaper for the first time today. I was pretty nervous with all your wires and tubes but we did it!
There is a small valve in your heart that hasn't closed yet but that is common in premies. 3 doses of medication will help close it. You received the scond dose today. The hope is to possibly try feeding you once it is closed. I know you're trying really hard to open your eyes and meet us too. We love you Benny!

Cuddly soft

Today Grandma and Grandpa Lawson got to meet you for the first time. You were trying so hard to open your eyes and take a peak at us.
We were excited to walk in and see a few less boxes on your tree today. Grandma and Grandpa brought a blanket to put on your isolette. We're washing it up for you and will bring it tomorrow.
Your nurse had to get the "boogies" out while we were there today. Since you have the respirator tube sometimes you get little gooey blobs in your throat and nose. They've got to come out somehow! You're being a big strong boy. They turned down your morphine today. What a fighter. You are so cute I just can't wait to hold you!

Big Day!

Today was a big day for both of us. At our visit to the NICU this afternoon the nurses handed us a picture they took last night of you with your eyes open. It is my new favorite picture. Looks like you're saying "I'm hanging in there for you mommy!"

We also got to watch as Dr. Gelfund removed your left chest tube. Victory #1! You tolerated the procedure very well. The next big milestone you made was being switched from the oscillation to the regular ventilator. The Dr. said that brings us one step closer to being able to hold you. It was a very nervous moment for your mommy and daddy as we watched them switch the tubes. A small drop in your stats and then you were going strong again. The swelling has decreased in you right arm, so now you have normal sized arms. You just keep getting tinier and tinier!

Today I was released from the hospital and is was so hard to have to leave you behind in the NICU. We wanted so much to just bring you home with us. We are confident you are in good hands and will continue to thrive. We will come visit you every day.

Day 2

I was amazed this morning by your color. You are really starting to look like a regular newborn. The Dr.'s say the swelling is gone in your left arm and hand. It is so tiny! Got your footprints today also. What little tiny feet!

It's almost time to give you some milk. Dr.'s decided to wait another day because your blood pressure was a little low. The pressure is being decreased in your ventilator in hopes that you may soon be switched to a regular ventilator instead of the oscillating one you are on now. When your Aunt Lise and Uncle Brian came to meet you tonight, you grabbed onto my finger and didn't let go. It's almost as if you knew it was me and you were telling me that you are holding on and that you need me. I am here for you. Stay strong, you're doing great!